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Paintballing VS Being a Couch Potato

This sporting debate has been raging for years, with veterans of both sports making a strong case for their particular activity. Often, tensions can run high - leading to strongly worded WhatsApp messages and in extreme cases, people deleting their Facebook profiles for over a day.

So, as the largest UK paintball operator (therefore completely biased impartial) Delta Force Paintball has stepped in to settle this debate once and for all.

1. Competitiveness

Paintballing: As a team sport paintball takes place in realistic simulated battlefields where players are responsible for both their own 'survival' and that of their team mates. This creates friendly competition within the team and direct competition against the opposing team. An added benefit is the promotion of other positive and related traits - such as communication, planning and strategy.

Coach Potato: Traditionally recognised as a solo sport, sitting on the sofa is all about extreme endurance. Players place themselves in direct competition with their own natural urges to visit the bathroom or order a pizza. Victory is about achieving a state of hightened mental discipline and self restraint - often that win is just one more bedsore away.

2. Personal Safety

Paintballing: To protect against paintball impacts, Delta Force equips all players with a padded combat suit with high collars for those extra sensitive neck areas. Players also wear special goggles that offer full head protection - shielding the head and face from all directions. In addition players are encouraged to wear gloves, body armour and sturdy boots for maximum protection.

Couch Potato: Players are at high risk of developing dead legs - a terrifying condition that can lead to further attacks of pins and needles. To prevent this, players must shift around the sofa as much as possible whilst groaning loudly. Players can also potentially drop the TV remote and struggle to retrieve it - often leading to arm strain or falls from heights of up to 30cm, resulting in  carpet burns to the face - a frightening and very real risk.

3. Accessibility

Paintballing: Paintball can be enjoyed by players as young as 8 years old thanks to Delta Force's mini paintball games that feature less powerful paintball guns - therefore softer impacts. Older players are able to play among similar age groups in carefully balanced games. There is no upper age limit, meaning players of all ages may play and enjoy paintball at whatever pace they feel comfortable.

Couch Potato: Some sofas are harder to scale than others - particularly leather sofas which can present a challenge during hot and sweaty periods. Obstacles such as cushions and pets can be an issue - meaning a great deal of physical prowess is required to maintain a prolonged period of sitting on the sofa doing absolutely nothing.

Conclusion

Its difficult to say really. Both sports have their merits and no clear victor has emerged - despite this exhaustive scientific study. More direct observation is clearly required. Therefore - in the interests of science - we emplore you to tag a couch potato friend in the comments below and hopefully draw their attention to this important sporting issue. These couch potatoes should either visit a Delta Force Paintball laboratory or call 0844 477 5115 to secure a place in another detailed paintballing study.


 
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